April 5, 2006
Spring is here, at last, so it’s time to do some spring cleaning. After making that video last night I decided today I would clean up this room and have spent all day on it (groan).
And spring cleaning of the mind too. I’ve been a grumpy Steve over the last few days and I had thought this was to do with other people (not gentle blog readers) who were getting to me, but now I think it was because I was mad at me.
I’m my own worst critic and I’ve been beating myself up for not being able to balance things out. Why, I ask myself, can’t I do a software release without feeling I need to ignore everything else and hide from my friends, becoming all miserable and cranky in the process?
Well, the answer is because that’s the only way I can seem to get anything done so that I can pay the bills… but does it have to be this way?
Maybe not. Maybe I’m turning the corner. Support on Feeder 1.3 seems to have really calmed down after the first week or so’s glitches were sorted out. I’m hoping that the changes I made, the improved help and web site have all paid off.
I hesitate to write that, because I’ve had quiet weeks before now when I’ve done exactly the same as I’m doing this week – catching up from intense work periods – and then the week after, as soon as I sit down to do some work, I’m submerged again. We’ll see.
All I want is to be able to get my work done and have some spare time (any at all!) and enough energy to be able to do something fun / relaxing / learn something new. I just want to keep on top of things.
I’ve been in such tricky spots in the past and I’m so scared of going back there because I don’t think I can survive another poor period. Thankfully, it’s not looking that way right now. Yet I have to be so careful about every move I make.
I still need to work out what I’m doing next, but first I need to wind down a bit. All this spring cleaning is hard work (I’ve got weeks of crap to sort out) but should be cathartic, at least.