“Just a couple of things…”
June 24, 2006
My friends are terrible. I could leave it there, but I won’t.
“Would you like to go for a coffee?” I am asked, to which I replied “Emphatically yes”.
The local Starbucks just so happens to be in the same retail park as the local Tesco Extra; to call it a supermarket is a major understatement, so after coffee came the inevitable:
“We need to go to Tesco, we’ve run out of alcohol and we’re going to get some food for tonight.”
Fair enough, but I hear this all the time and it never quite ends there.
Dotted around the aisles are cunningly planted offers and things you would never dream of needing. Three items of makeup for £5? I’m told I need some black nail polish. Hair colour, toe separators, electric toothpic attachments, deodorant? Better had. Some chewing gum? Sure.
How about a bottle stopper shaped like a butt-plug? Could do with one of those. Whose turn is it to get the Jack Daniels? Well, that would be me, who also had to stock up on 70% dark chocolate, but alas the unflavoured one I wanted wasn’t there.
Worse still, a couple of saddos (Figure 1, Figure 2) have to go around taking photos of all this and study them when they get home. Oh look! Those little cocktail umbrellas, probably haven’t got enough of them already. Not to mention what is feels like to be a wine bottle, in a trolley or stuck at the back of a shelf. Awww.
And the wine! Look at all that wine…